Christmas: Jesus is the Reason for the Season… Right?

I have to admit that Christmas has always been my most favorite time of year.  Growing up, I always had a running countdown of the days left until Christmas – in fact, my countdown started even before my mom put up the handmade advent calendar in the shape of a Christmas tree, on which we would hang one bell for each day that passed.  On Christmas Eve, my brothers and I would stay up all night, eagerly anticipating Christmas morning – when we could wait no longer, we would rush into our parents’ room and terrorize them until they got up (5 am isn’t early for Christmas, is it?).  And yes, even now, I still enjoy the festivity of the season, with all the bright lights and beautiful colors and music, and the overall bustle and thrill of anticipation that seems to run through nearly everyone.

Of course, Christmas these days seems to be carried out to the extreme – people rushing from one place to another, spending too much money, desperately searching for discounts, feeling overwhelmed and stressed with all the parties, performances, traveling, and various obligations we have this time of year.  Amidst it all, it is easy to lose sight of the bigger picture and get swept away by the tide of commercialism, consumerism, and decadence, causing many religious observers of the holiday to feel obligated to bring things back into perspective by echoing the well-known phrase: “Jesus is the reason for the season.”  Indeed, we wouldn’t even have Christmas if it weren’t for the birth of Jesus….  right…?

My investigation into the history of Christmas began by accident back when I was in college (and still a Christian).  My friend and I were musing over the purpose of Christmas trees, since it seemed unlikely evergreens would be that common in Palestine during the time of Jesus.  I decided to look it up on the Internet, and immediately saw that indeed, the Christmas tree was of pagan origin.  I didn’t feel too good about that, so I stopped any further searching as I didn’t want to know what else might have pagan origins as well!  Of course though, over time, my curiosity got the better of me and I did begin to look into the origins of Christmas, which became easier to face as I had begun having doubts about Christianity anyway at that point.

So is Jesus the reason for the season?  Well, although it sounds nice and feels good to say, unfortunately, Jesus is not the reason for the season.  In reality, Jesus is more of an afterthought, added to the holiday several centuries later.  The real reason for the season comes not from one sole source, but from a variety of other religions and traditions, the majority stemming from pre-Christian ancient Roman religious practices.  For instance:

Christmas day (Dec. 25th):

In ancient Babylon, this day was a celebration of the son of Isis, during which people would have a feast, throw wild parties, and engage in gluttonous drinking and eating.

Later, in pre-Christian Rome, the holiday, termed Saturnalia, was celebrated in honor of the god Saturn.  This was a time of hedonistic debauchery, celebrated with large feasts, drunkenness, and even orgies.

Another pre-Christian Roman religion was that of Mithra, the sun (or “son”) of God (in fact, much of Paul’s teachings about Jesus are exactly the same as the teachings of this religion).  December 25th was celebrated as the birthday of Mithra.

Christmas caroling:

In celebration of Saturnalia, some ancient Roman people (known as Mummers) would dress up in costumes and travel from house to house, entertaining people with songs and dances.  Incidently, when Christianity came on the scene, caroling was actually banned by the church.

Christmas trees:

Trees were worshipped by the ancient Druids in Northern Europe, and during the winter, people would often bring evergreen trees (and sometimes decorate the trees) inside to remind themselves of the hope of the new life to come in the springtime.  Early Christians abhorred the practice, and believed it to be blasphemy.

Gift-giving

Even giving family and loved ones gifts on Christmas has pagan roots – during the celebrations of the god Isis, people would commonly give each other gifts.  For Saturnalia, the rich often gave to the poor and less well-off people around them.   Gift-giving was also banned by the early church.

Santa Claus

The origin of Santa Claus comes from 4th century bishop, St. Nicholas, who was known for giving gifts to others secretly.  When the church realized the difficulty of preventing people from celebrating the traditions of the popular culture around them, they allowed gift-giving on the rationale that St. Nicholas, a Christian, had done it.  The mythical figure of Santa Claus was modeled after St. Nicholas, and in the 1800s, American cartoonist Thomas Nast began drawing yearly pictures of him (initially in religious robes), which thus began the transformation into the bearded, plump, short man in a red suit that we are familiar with today.   Ironically, the only originally Christian Christmas tradition just so happens to be Santa Claus, whom many modern-day Christians now bemoan and even refuse to include in their Christmas celebrations.

Jesus

Jesus was later added into the well-established tradition of Christmas celebrations about 300 years after his death, as church leaders decided that it was too difficult to fight against the tide of Roman culture, and determined instead that it would be better to add a Christian element to the mix to better attract non-Christian Romans to the religion with the promise of allowing them to retain their popular religious traditions.  In reality, however, Biblical historians believe Jesus to have been born sometime in September, nowhere near the date of December 25th.

The Real Reason for the Season

So, the real reason for the Christmas season is exactly what we see today (minus Santa Claus and the actual name, which stems from “Christ-mass”).  Overindulgence, gluttony, excess spending and the materialistic emphasis on gift-giving (or rather, gift-getting), wild parties, drunkenness, and debauchery.  Excess and frivolty is the reason for the season.

If Christians want to truly celebrate the birth of Jesus, then they should celebrate it in September, but should take care to remember that there should be no caroling, no Christmas trees, or presents (unless you’re Catholic, in which case Santa Claus and gift-giving is allowed as per St. Nicholas).

The fact that so many Christians ignore the history of the development of their OWN religion and religious holidays is astounding.  Admittedly, I was once one of them, and in retrospect, I know exactly why I chose to remain blissfully ignorant.  The truth will force one to face the reality of one’s beliefs, much of which is based on mere fantasy and fairytales.  Logic and fact should therefore be avoided at all costs in order to avoid shattering the fragile glass house constituting one’s beliefs.

In the end, celebrating Christmas for what it truly is – a purely cultural holiday – is certainly not something horrific or satanic.  Rather, Christmas is a cultural tradition deeply embedded in Western societies, with a rich and diverse history extending back thousands of years.  It is doubtful that modern Westerners worship Christmas trees, Saturn, or Mithra, nor do they sing songs to Roman deities or engage in mass orgies (well, the majority probably doesn’t anyway).  On the contrary, it is a wonderful holiday during which people gather together with family, give each other presents as a sign of our appreciation and love for one another, and make unforgettable, warm memories that will stay with us to the end of our lives.  Certainly, there is nothing un-Islamic or un-Christian about that.

So, to that end – Merry Christmas everyone!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas

http://www.essortment.com/all/christmaspagan_rece.htm

http://www.history.com/topics/christmas

A Day of Thankfulness

I thank God for this precious gift of life, for the beauty and wonder of His majestic creation around me, and for the sustaining bond of family and loved ones, in spite of all their flaws.

I thank God for rending the veil of ignorance and blindness from my eyes, and allowing me to see the truth plainly and clearly, no matter how painful the truth is.  I am eternally thankful to God for guiding me to the right path, and for giving me the tools to find the truth in all things.

I am grateful for all the hardship and difficulty I face, as only through trial can I struggle and grow into a better person.

“God’s blessings are numerous, and my tongue is too weak to count them.  His favors are abundant and my understanding falls short of grasping them… I thank God for giving me the ability to thank Him – even my thanking requires thanksgiving” (Imam Ali ibn Hussein, from Sahife Sajjadiya).

I pray that on this day of thankfulness, we will reach out to those less fortunate than us, and share the overflowing blessings that have been undeservedly bestowed on us.  Look around at those near you; if everyone helped those in their close circles, no need for charity would ever exist.  “If any one of you finds your near ones in want or starvation, he should not desist in helping them” (Imam Ali, from Nahjul Balagha).

To my American readers, Happy Thanksgiving! 

Abortion: The Islamic View

Growing up as an Evangelical Christian, abortion was always something denigrated and preached heavily against as it constitutes the murdering of innocent children.  I have participated in Pro-Life rallies and protests, holding signs and shouting with everyone else.  I believed very earnestly that the mother made the choice to have sex – it was not the choice or the fault of the unborn child, who does have a soul (as David (as) says in Psalms that God knew us while we were still in the womb, and that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made”).

Yet this narrow view of abortion only accounts for some of the reasons why women choose to have abortions: some have abortions to save the mother’s life, or because the mother was raped (which was certainly not a choice on the mother’s part!), and so on.  Some of these women are in fact married and are not engaging in pre- or extra-marital sex, which may be shocking for some to realize (something never ever talked about at any of the churches and protests I went to!).

Upon converting to Islam, I automatically assumed these same beliefs held true for Muslims as well: no abortion whatsoever.  Yet, I was very surprised to learn that actually, Islam takes a contextual, realistic view of abortion, unlike the black and white stance of Christians.

In fact, the Quran even weighs in on the ever-contested debate of when (or if) a human fetus has a soul: derived from Surah Mo’mineen, Islamic jurists have ruled that abortion before the 4th month is permissible IF the mother’s life is in danger.

Why favor the mother’s life  over the baby’s life?  Well, Islam follows the principle of choosing “the lesser of two evils.”  When you’re faced with only two choices, both of which are bad, you have to go with the ‘least’ bad.  In the case of a pregnant woman whose life is in danger, saving her life is better because she may have other children dependent on her, a family, a spouse, relatives, loved ones.  She is already well-established and known in this world, so to lose her would cause a great deal more heartache and trauma than that of the unborn, still unknown baby.  Plus, if we favor the baby’s life over the mother’s, then who will care for the baby?  The baby will be an orphan, and runs a very high risk of having a difficult life.

Some Islamic jurists have even ruled that abortion to save the mother’s life can take place at any time during the pregnancy, even after the 4 month time frame.  In fact, I’ve been told that this is the case in Saudi Arabia: a pregnant woman can go to a hospital and have an abortion upon discovering that her life is in danger, at any time during the pregnancy.

I’ve also read that some jurists have stated that a woman who has been raped may also abort the baby, although not everyone agrees, as opponents believe that baby falls into the same category as a baby with defects or handicaps (for which abortion is not allowed).

The issue of abortion is yet another clear example of the Islamic emphasis on logic and reason working in harmony with faith.  It is not a stark black and white issue; rather, just like all else in life, it is an issue that requires context and logic.  Religion should not stand in opposition to logic and intellect – God is the Creator of reason, so most certainly, His religion would not oppose His natural system.  SubhanAllah (glory to God).

American Domestic Terrorism

Although Western media has programmed us all to automatically associate terrorism with Islam, terrorism is certainly not under sole proprietorship of extremist so-called ‘Muslims’.  In fact, Christian terrorism is alive and well in the US to this day, in the form of several different organizations.  The abortion clinic bombings and murders of doctors and staff (one such murder occurred just last year: Dr. Tiller was gunned down while he was in church, of all places) are good examples of present-day Christian extremism.

I recently watched a documentary chronicling one Christian extremist group closely involved with many of the bombings and murders that took place in the 1990s.  It’s very interesting to see how they justify killing others for the sake of God, and even how they apply a great deal of psychological pressure one young member in particular to engage in violence.

I’ll post it here so you can watch it for yourselves:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5d1n0zDngPI&feature=related

How to Successfully Support Israel

I came across this article in another blog site and found it too well-written to pass up.  Written by Gabriel Ash, it comes from a blog entitled “Jews Sans Fronteires.”

How to make the case for Israel and win

To the benefit of the many not-very-bright zionist wannabe apologists who read this blog assiduously, I decided to offer a clear and simple method of arguing the case for Israel. This clear and simple method has been distilled from a life spent listening to and reading Zionist propaganda. It is easy to follow and results are guaranteed or your money back.

So don’t hesitate! Take advantage NOW of this revolutionary rhetorical system that will make YOU a great apologist for Israel in less time than it takes to shoot a Palestinian toddler in the eye.

Ready? 1..2..3..GO!

You need to understand just one principle:

The case for Israel is made of four propositions that should always be presented in the correct escalating order.

We rock

They suck

You suck

Everything sucks

That’s it. Now you know everything that it took me a lifetime to learn. The rest is details; filling in the dotted lines.

You begin by saying how great Israel is. Israel want peace; Israel is the only democracy in the Middle East; the desert blooms; kibutz; Israelis invented antibiotics, the wheel, the E minor scale; thanks to the occupation Palestinians no longer live in caves; Israel liberates Arab women; Israel has the most moral army in the world, etc.

This will win over 50% of your listeners immediately. Don’t worry about the factual content. This is about brand identity, not writing a PhD. Do you really think BP is ‘beyond petroleum’?

Then you go into the second point: They suck. Here you talk about the legal system of Saudi Arabia, gay rights in Iran, slave trade in the Sudan, Mohammad Atta, the burqa, Palestinians dancing after 9/11, Arafat’s facial hair, etc.

There is only one additional principle you need to understand here. It will separate you from the amateurs. You need to know your audience. If you’ve got a crowd already disposed to racist logic, go for it with everything you have. But if you get a liberal crowd, you need to sugar coat the racism a bit. Focus on women rights, human rights, religious tolerance, “clash of civilizations”, terrorism, they teach their children to hate, etc. Deep down your audience WANTS to enjoy racism and feel superior. They just need the proper encouragement so they can keep their sophisticated self-image. Give them what they crave and they’ll adore you! But be careful not to ‘mix n match,’ because it will cost you credibility.

When you’re done, there will always be dead-enders insisting that abuse of gays in Iran does not justify ethnic cleansing in Palestine. Take a deep breath, and pull the doomsday weapon: You suck!

You’re a Jew-hater, Arab-lover, anti-Semite, you’re a pinko, a commie, a dreamer, a naive, a self-hater, you have issues, your mother worked for the Nazis, Prince Bandar buys you cookies, you forgot you were responsible for the holocaust, etc. The more the merrier. By the time you end this barrage, only a handful would be left standing. For mopping them up, you use the ultimate postmodern wisdom: Everything sucks.

War, genocide, racism, oppression are everywhere. From the Roma in Italy to the Native-Americans in the U.S., the weak are victimized. Why pick on Israel? It’s the way of the world. Look! Right is only in question between equals in power; the strong do what they can and the weak suffer what they must. Ethics, schmethics. Life is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. Eat, drink! Carpe diem! The Palestinians would throw us into the sea if they could. Ha ha!

Trust me, that’s as far as words can go. If you followed this method faithfully, you’ve done your work. You should leave the few who are still unconvinced to the forces of order.

Congratulations!
You are now ready to
apologize for Israel like a pro.

http://jewssansfrontieres.blogspot.com/2008/07/how-to-make-case-for-israel-and-win.html

In Pursuit of Wisdom

As a child, my fervent prayer was always that God would give me wisdom.  Prophet Sulaiman (as), even in Christian tradition, is known for his phenomenal wisdom, so I often scoured the book of Proverbs (supposed to have been written by him), searching for something that would make me wiser.  I thought that if I prayed hard enough, I would wake up one day and suddenly have all the answers and have a poignant, succint comeback for everything… yet it never happened. 

Now, several years later, I have come to realize that back then, I had no concept of what wisdom even was.  And, I certainly had no ability to determine whether someone had wisdom or not.  So, without any idea of what wisdom was or how to recognize it, I lacked the clarity to understand how to attain it. 

Since converting to Islam, I have finally come to see what wisdom truly is, and am now able to recognize it, due to the Quran itself, and to the examples of the lives of the Prophet (saws) and his Ahl-Bait.  In fact, the main reason for being so attracted to Islam, aside from the Quran, was the incredible wisdom of Imam Ali (as).  I was so blown away by even the simplest utterances he spoke.  I had never even imagined or encountered such deep wisdom and insight.  Learning more about Imam Ali also helped me to learn more about the Prophet, because as the Prophet said, “I am the city of knowledge and Ali is the gate.”  Imam Ali never spoke of his own – he merely reflected what he learned from the Prophet.  What a vast ocean of knowledge the Prophet then must have!

Discovering Imam Ali and his relationship to the Prophet helped me to finally understand an essential component to the path to gaining wisdom – knowledge.  Having knowledge does not make you wise, yet it is impossible to be wise without having any knowledge.  Therefore, a key ingredient to gaining wisdom is by acquiring knowledge. 

So then, what is knowledge?  The Prophet was once asked this very question.  He responded by saying that first, knowledge is to keep silent.  Next, it is to listen attentively.  Then, it is to remember.  Next, it is to act on upon what was learned, and finally, it is to teach others (Al-Majlisi, Bihar Al-Anwar, vol. 2 p. 28). 

So, then, we must first be quiet – to stop talking, to stop guessing and making conjectures and adding our opinions – we need to stop everything and be silent, putting aside our stereotypes, preconceived ideas, and biases.  Then we need to listen.  Search out those who are knowledgeable and listen to them – don’t try to compete with them or judge that which you still do not have full knowledge of.  Also keep in mind that knowledge can be gained from even the most unlikely sources, so we must keep an open mind to the fact that knowledge is not confined to one particular belief system or worldview.  Once we start to listen, we then need to remember.  Listening is useless if we don’t try to preserve the information in our own minds somehow, so that we can process it and begin to live by it and act upon it.  Finally, we need to teach others – but not before all the prior steps have been completed.  As Imam Ali said, “The one who teaches and instructs themselves is entitled to more esteem than one who teaches and instructs others.”  Without having knowledge deeply imbedded in our own minds, it is impossible to effectively teach others.

Wisdom entails gaining knowledge.  Wisdom involves being able to conceptualize and understand life experiences, which cannot be done without knowledge and guidance.   We all know people who have had a lot of difficult experiences in life, but on closer evaluation, we often find that these experiences are patterned – the person continually does the same actions (mistakes) over and over again.  So then, does their experience alone make them wise?  No – because they lack the tools to analyze their experiences and learn from them - knowledge. 

So why is it important to be knowledgeable anyway?  Knowledge helps you understand yourself.  The Prophet mentioned that understanding yourself is the path to coming closer to God.  When you become self-aware,  you can more accurately and objectively see yourself and how you fit into the world.  You can also understand the world around you.  You become more aware of your Creator – and more grateful, thankful, humbled,and submissive.  Things are no longer sheer black and white - you will begin to see the abundance of various shades of color in between.  Being able to see the various levels and complexities of the world around us helps us to accurately classify and categorize, and then use that information to guide our steps.  As long as we are armed with true knowledge and pure intentions, we will never go astray from the true path.

As Imam Ali stated, “Knowledge is better than wealth.  Knowledge guards you, while you have to guard the wealth.  Wealth decreases by spending, while knowledge multiples by spending” (Nahj al-Balagha p. 600). 

The pursuit of wisdom is a complex path that takes an entire lifetime to travel.  The key to its attainment is taking each part of the process step by step, carefully and thoroughly, with patience and sincere intention. 

“One who proceeds on a path in pursuit of knowledge, God makes him proceed therewith on a path to Paradise.” (Prophet Muhammad, Al-Kulayni, Al Kafi, vol. 1). 

http://www.al-islam.org/nutshell/files/knowledge.pdf

Sermons, letters, & sayings of Imam Ali (Nahj al-Balagha): http://www.al-islam.org/nahj/

Roots of Depression

My intention with this blog was to first discuss much of my experiences and thought processes surrounding my conversion to Islam, but since I’ve been doing a lot of pondering, reading, and self-analysis on the subject of depression, I decided I’d go ahead and post it in hopes that it can help others. 

Depression: A Symptom, Not a Cause

Going through graduate school for counseling psychology, I often heard that depression isn’t the cause but is a symptom of something else.  That something else can come from pretty much anything – internalized, unexpressed anger, dissatisfaction with life circumstances, etc.  There is no one answer.  Yet, it seems that so many people, especially in the US and other western countries, suffer from the imprisonment of depression. 

Why?  When we have so much in our lives; when we live better than many other people in the world – why are we so depressed?  We don’t have to suffer through the horrors of being in a war zone, having relatives killed or raped, living in constant fear, always in survival mode, not free to move beyond the comfort of the basics and express ourselves creatively, give back to the community around us… Even the poorest among us are still relatively better off than those considered ‘normal’ in other countries.  We have more civil liberties, we can express ourselves, we can disagree with the government if we want to, we have a judicial system which is relatively uncorrupted (although institutionalized racism and discrimination still exists, but it certainly isn’t as overt as in other countries) so we can count on justice and fairness for the most part.  So why do we feel that life is so hopeless? 

External vs. Internal Roots

There are many answers.  Sometimes depression can be circumstantial and be caused by external factors, but many times, especially in the case of Americans, I believe it is intrinsic, internal.  My thoughts stem from a theory I recently came across by a couple, the Weinholds, who are also psychologists.  Developmental psychologists know that the first 3 years of life are the most crucial for forming personality, our view of ourselves and others (the world around us), and the behaviors we develop to get us through life.  If trauma occurs during this critical stage, the likelihood of developing maladaptive traits and behaviors is strong. 

However, the theory that this couple puts forward is that smaller traumas that occur here and there early in life can add up to having the same effect as an extreme trauma.  I think many of us may fall into this camp, which is where unhealthy patterns begin to occur.  Smaller traumas may not even be noticeable to the adults in the child’s life, such as moving frequently (thus creating a sense of instability and abandonment), the birth of a new sibling (and the child being left alone, ignored), frequent changes in caretakers (such as going to daycare early on and being looked after by several employees in the same day even), and so on. 

Early Experiences: Long-Term Effects

All of these smaller traumas can add up to create issues in adult life, especially if they aren’t explored and processed.  Adults can become afraid of abandonment and thus get into codependent relationships in which they sacrifice themselves at all costs to keep the other happy so that they won’t ‘leave’.  They lose their boundaries and sense of self in order to do and be everything the other person desires.  When a person loses their sense of self, they no longer give value to their own thoughts and feelings and push them aside.  Depression springs up as a signal that something is wrong; something is unbalanced. 

Other people begin to play the perpetual victim role in order to achieve the attention they didn’t get early in life.  Even if the attention they receive in their relationship now is sufficient, without those early events being processed and recognized, they still create a sense of desperate hunger in our innermost being.  This obviously wreaks havoc on a relationship, as the victim is manipulating the feelings and actions of the other person, and is no longer being genuine and honest.  This can push the victim into depression because their true self isn’t known. 

Early trauma can also cause us to believe that the world is not to be trusted (since our caretakers did not give us attention when we cried for it), and that others cannot be depended on.  It also reinforces the idea that we must not be valuable or worth anything if we were neglected (or received intermittent care).  This is the core of depression, in my opinion.  Early experiences taught us that others don’t care about us because we aren’t valuable, creating a deep self hatred and even anger. 

Self-Hatred

So, the root of depression is in our attitudes towards ourselves.  Medication won’t cure it (it only numbs it for a while til your body gets used to it and needs a stronger dose or different medicine), exercise or changing your habits won’t cure it (although they can be a healthy way to help alleviate it), and definitely self-medication doesn’t help (such as drugs, alcohol, sex – although it numbs it), as those create even more problems down the road. 

In Search of the Cure

For a while, I’ve struggled with the question of which is more important for self-improvement and (hopefully) digging ourselves out of depression: focusing on our weaknesses, or focusing on both our weaknesses and our strengths?  Which one will keep me in a self-aware, humble, and driven state of mind conducive to self-improvement? If we acknowledge our strengths, I thought, we might become complacent and lazy, telling ourselves that we’re not that bad and not feel as compelled to change as a result.  Plus, some people may be so depressed and self-loathing that they fail to see any strengths at all.   

However, recently I have realized that when we focus solely on our weaknesses, we essentially paralyze ourselves due to the constant condemnation, self-criticism, and the belief that we have nothing positive or of value to offer.  When we get into that frame of mind, we go into survival mode.  Our bodies and brains shut down and just try to survive – get through one day to the next, go through the most basic actions.  We’re fearful of making mistakes, we’re harsh and unforgiving when we do… it’s all we can do to survive; we wouldn’t even consider branching out to take a risk or try something new. 

Instead, the Islamic life motto, all things in moderation, walking the tight rope of the middle path, serves as the best solution.  We need to have a balance of both.  We need to recognize our strengths, because we can use our strengths to help us overcome our weaknesses.  If we believe that we have no value, we’re left feeling very helpless and unable to change - because we simply don’t have the tools to do so.  But, if we recognize and acknowledge our strengths, we can use them as tools to make ourselves better and improve our weaknesses.  

Yet, some of us may still be too depressed and worn down to give value to our strengths.  We may not trust ourselves to have an accurate assessment of our strengths.  For those of us who believe in God, or in a higher power, then the solution is simple.  All of God’s creation has been carefully crafted, and humans in particular, as the Bible states, are “fearfully and wonderfully made.”  Out of our respect and sincerity in our belief in God, we must have respect  for His creation, and thus, for ourselves.  Even if we find no value in ourselves, God does.  Even if we question our existence and wish we were better off not having been born, God intentionally put us here.  Out of respect for God, we must respect ourselves.

Respect for Self 

God is the most merciful, the most compassionate – as we are reminded over and over in the Quran.  When we make mistakes, He doesn’t immediately condemn us to hell or send us an earthly punishment.  He sees our grief, our desire for repentance, and He lovingly, mercifully, forgives us.  If the God of the universe can be merciful towards us, then part of our gratitude toward Him should include having mercy toward ourselves. 

To do this, we don’t need to lie to ourselves or live in a delusion that we’re in great shape and have no problems.  Instead, we need to simply acknowledge our strengths, and use them to help us overcome our weaknesses.  We need to speak to ourselves more mercifully.  If our inner, self-talk is constantly negative and critical, logically our emotions and our energy levels will be negative as well.  Our general functioning will decline – our health will worsen even.  Yet, if our self-talk is merciful, encouraging instead of critical and destructive, we’ll feel more hopeful.  We’ll feel more motivated to ‘do better next time.’  We’ll look for ways to expand, try new things, reach out, explore ourselves.  With a safe, encouraging base, our minds are braver and more energized to reach higher goals.  On the contrary, with a critical, unforgiving base, our minds are too fearful to attempt anything outside of what is ‘safe,’ which isn’t much because you’ve already determined that you have no strengths. 

Positive Behavior causes Positive Emotions

One thing I often find myself falling into is that I’ll reward myself when I’m doing something right.  I might wear clothes that I really like, for example,  as a reward.  If I’m not doing well, I won’t, which makes me feel worse as a result since I feel self-conscious about my appearance, and increases my negative self-talk.  It’s a downward, negative spiral.

During graduate school when I was in the counseling program, one of my professors told me that he had trouble initially showing empathy nonverbally.  He had empathic thoughts, but he had trouble actually feeling it and as a result, showing it.  He decided to consciously ‘show’ his empathy (by raising his eyebrows, opening his mouth, gasping, etc.) in order to be more responsive to his clients.  He found that over time, his feelings began to gradually catch up.  He engaged in the behaviors before he ‘felt’ anything; yet his positive behaviors affected his feelings. 

I realized that the same is true with fighting depression.  If we do positive things as a reward for doing something right, inevitably we’ll end up spiraling downward, because we’ll make mistakes, punish ourselves, feel worse, punish ourselves again – causing ourselves to continue downward with no positive, rewarding behaviors.  It should be the opposite: we need to engage in positive behavior, which will in turn cause our feelings to be more positive.  Proponents of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy approach to improving mental health know very well that our thoughts affect our feelings, our feelings affect our behaviors, and our behaviors affect our thoughts – and vice versa.  Therefore, positive behavior will inevitably affect both our thoughts and feelings positively.  When we care about ourselves, respect ourselves, we start to feel better.  Thus, when we feel depressed, when we feel particularly loathing toward ourselves, this is when we should do something positive.  Again, if not for our sake, but for the sake of respecting God’s creation.   

I have more thoughts on this subject, but this is long enough to provide plenty food for thought.  Below is the link to the psychologists discussing the theory of early childhood trauma causing difficulty later in life.  They do come off as a bit bland, but they have fanstatic, intriguing things to say. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPmRQSNUs2w&feature=related

On Modesty

I wrote this a while back, around the time when I was in the process of converting to Islam.  I thought this might serve as a nice segue into my upcoming story of my journey to begin covering my hair.

Well, I’ve been thinking (and reading) a lot about modesty these days, and I’m concerned with all the criticism that Muslim women receive over their desire to cover themselves.  I decided to take a look at what other religions have to say about this subject, and with very little effort I found that the concept of Islamic modesty is nothing new.  In fact, in Jewish tradition (from the Tanukh I think, but I’m looking for an exact citation), Abraham’s wife Sarai never left the home without completely covering herself – including her face!  Jewish women are also supposed to cover their hair (you can see that today in more traditional Jewish communities) and wear modest clothing.  With regard to Christianity, let’s remember that Jesus said he came not to abolish the law, but to fulfill it.  Fulfill doesn’t mean change, the last time I checked.  Further, Paul himself even states that a woman should at least cover her hair in church in I Cor. 11:

“Every woman who prays or prophecies with her head uncovered dishonors her head – it is just as though her head were shaved.  If a woman does not cover her head, she should have her hair cut off; and if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut or shaved off, she should cover her head… The woman ought to have a sign of authority on her head.”

So first of all, according to Paul, a woman with an uncovered head is dishonoring herself.  Secondly, he commands that any woman who isn’t covering should have her hair cut off.  Wow!  That’s pretty extreme, and certainly not backed up by Old Testament law.  Nor does Islam have any punishment for a woman who doesn’t cover, by the way.  It’s simply her decision.  Further, Paul states that a woman should have a sign of authority on her head.  Meaning what?  She’s inferior to what authority?  God?  No – to men.  We can ascertain that because Paul didn’t tell men that they have any sign of authority over them; he singled out women.  So, covering the hair in Christianity is done due to the authority of men, while covering the hair in Islam is due to the authority of God.  That’s a pretty big difference.

Either way, modesty is not an Islamic fabrication, nor is it a symbol of oppression.  Just ask any Muslim woman here in the West, and she’ll inform you that she happily chooses to cover herself.  Further, a woman’s beauty is a valuable gift and treasure that shouldn’t be given away to the general public for free!  I’ve heard it said many times by Muslim women that by being modest and covering their sexuality, they raise themselves to equal playing grounds and are therefore taken much more seriously as a person, and valued for their minds instead of their bodies.  How liberating!

And by the way, just to be fair – Islam teaches modesty for both men and women.  Men should dress modestly as well – it’s not a one-sided ideology, something that anti-modesty protesters conveniently overlook.

Additionally, people in general have been modest up until very recently.  It wasn’t even until the 60s that people began showing more skin and abandoning modesty.  Running around half-naked is an innovation that honestly hasn’t fixed the gender gap in terms of equality in salary or employment (to date are still receiving only 75% of the pay men receive for the same work, with the same level of education and experience), even in the ‘liberated’ United States. Women still get the short end of the stick, and are now viewed as cheap sexual objects, even degraded to the level of selling everything from cars to toothpaste.  Look what ‘respect’ and ‘value’ exposing ourselves has bought us.

You can check out this youtube video for a nice visual montage of modesty throughout religions and throughout history.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=wAiRvS_BwmI&feature=related

Welcome!

Hello everyone, and thanks for visiting my blog!  After reading and enjoying many other people’s blogs about a wide variety of topics, I’ve decided to finally make my own.  It took me quite some time to actually get around to doing it though because I am interested in so many things that I didn’t know what exactly I should focus on!   Finally, I decided to focus on being a convert to Islam, since my conversion was the most pivotal moment of my life, and since Islam itself manifests itself in every aspect of my life.  Basically everything, in one way or another, ends up relating back to Islam. 

So, here is where my story begins.  I will definitely be discussing a wide variety of topics, but I hope to discuss my journey to Islam and my life as a convert in the West and all the issues that have arisen as a result.